Rethinking Gratitude - Part II
(Video version here. Scroll down for written version)
Earlier this month, we started by getting curious about our relationship with gratitude. Through our last reflection, we considered whether gratitude helps us feel expansive or constrained. This question came up as a result of noticing that sometimes gratitude stops us, or shields us, from connecting with our most honest, vulnerable self.
When we focus entirely on what we “should” feel grateful for (remember our discussion about the Shoulds earlier this year? You can revisit it starting here). This stops us from connecting to all the emotions we feel around a certain aspect of our lives (for example, our jobs), or if it contributes to shutting down other parts of our emotional and physical experience (like when mom’s not-great-cooking felt very unpleasant but it could not be discussed because “other kids do not have what to eat.” Disclaimer: mom’s cooking got much, much better over time).
Today, I want to create a space for us to explore this further, and to connect with how we *fully* feel about what we are grateful for. You can use these questions for anything that has been top of mind, or even a topic you have yet to ask yourself about. The goal here is for you to feel less pressure about giving yourself a perfect answer, and to relax our shoulders as we let ourselves see all of us without the judgment of how you “should” feel.
Here is my proposed approach: Take some time in a quiet environment with pen and paper (I am more old school, but if you would rather type on your phone or laptop, go for it). If you are listening to this newsletter, make sure that you pause after every question to give yourself time to reflect. Let your hand guide your writing with no filter. There is no right or wrong answer, only your honest one.
Start with this question: What is one thing I am grateful for right now?
Alternatively, you can also challenge yourself to ask: What is one thing I feel I should be grateful for right now?
Once you have your answer, it is time to ask yourself: Why do I believe I should feel grateful for it?
After expanding on why, give yourself permission to meet yourself where you are at and ask: How does this object of gratitude make me feel?
Take a minute to reread what you just wrote. Are there any surprises? Anything that feels less of a revelation and more of a confirmation? As you reflect through your words, I leave you with two questions to explore further in the coming weeks.
First, how do you want to feel about this object of gratitude?
If your answer here is different from how you currently feel, what is one small way in which you can move closer to that feeling you envision?
That is all for our brief exploration of gratitude during this month. Next week, a new episode of Lucky to Be Here drops on Wednesday, so make sure to update your preferences to receive the episode and our related updates and reflections on your inbox.
I will see you again for our Brewing reflection in two weeks to wrap up 2025 and set ourselves up for the new year with intention and reflection. In the meantime, did this reflection resonate with you? Reply to this email with a line or two to share your experience. I look forward to hearing from you!
