(Written version)
Last week, we made the distinction between strategies and habits, and why it matters. As a refresher, I defined strategies as the overall theme, and habits as the tools or options in a menu that help you follow through with your strategy. I gave as an example my strategy of creating space for quiet and reflection in my daily life, and the multiple habits and tools that I may resort to, whether those are meditation, journaling, nature walks, or staring out the window.
One of the reasons I shared for making this distinction is the fact that habits may serve us only for a season. We change and our habits may not always serve us along the way. My habit of going on a morning walk every single day was fundamental for me for over a year, but nowadays I may only squeeze in one per week. But others, like meditating, are still around every single day. We change seasons, we change jobs, we change needs, and our habits may not be as effective as they used to be.
This is the hardest part of our relationship with habits: when we encounter the frustration of something that used to feel certain and comforting change in front of us and we go into problem-solving mode. The catch? We often get stuck in self-blame and self-shaming for the change. If this sounds familiar to you, or if you find yourself in this very headspace right now, I have something for you.
First, take a step back. What is the strategy that you want to pursue to support yourself? I shared the example of creating space in my day for quiet and reflection. Maybe you want to create space for creativity, or find balance between the stress of work and the presence of quality time with your loved ones. Identify that strategy as your anchor.
Second, review the habit (or habits). What worked about it? What is no longer working? What has changed that makes this habit less effective at this time? There are a million reasons why this might happen, including that something changed within you. Review with curiosity rather than judgment. You are not punishing yourself, you are researching what is to help you find what works.
Third, debrief. What have you learned from this reflection? What is it about this habit that makes it hard to let go of? What have you learned about yourself and your needs from it that you may be able to carry forward with you as you identify a different habit to serve your strategy?
We will leave it there for today. Next week, we will discuss the idea of tiny experiments and how they can help identify new habits along the way. Was this reflection helpful? Reply back and let me know! I look forward to hearing from you.
