We have been discussing the role and importance of our villages in our goals this month, and this episode of Lucky to Be Here speaks to this in many ways (and it is packed with tips and advice for international moves!). For this week’s episode, I interviewed Gisela de la Villa. Gisela is a multi-hyphenate who hails from Argentina, but has become a part of the Wellington fixture. During our conversation, Gisela shares her journey from Argentina to New Zealand, detailing the analytical and emotional processes behind her decision to relocate (and offering a fantastic blueprint for your own decision-making and planning). She discusses the challenges of navigating the visa system, the importance of building networks even before you need them, and the adjustments she made to embrace her new life in New Zealand, and so much more.
When it comes to the discussion of villages and goals, last week I posed questions on what would happen if we accepted that our villages are part of us, of our goals, and even how we show up across spaces, including our professional ones. In my conversation with Gisela, there were multiple ways in which these questions played out:
- How her and her partner’s shared mindset about what they needed to thrive in a space shaped their decision-making process;
- How different family dynamics for both of them impacted their process once they made the decision;
- How friends and extended networks (from even decades ago!) played a role in recognizing what was possible and in their job searching process from abroad;
- How our village is embedded in our plans, even in small but significant ways like storage and logistics planning.
I could go in a lot of different directions in today’s writing based on this conversation, because it is a truly rich one. But I want to offer you one reflection question inspired by it:
What are the (small and big) ways in which you feel supported, encouraged, or expanded by your village?
Here is why I ask this. We started the year exploring who is in your village, who you need most (and needs you most) and how this informs your life and career. We went one step further in wondering whether your village and your goals feel at odds or not. But this week’s discussion with Gisela also highlights how even when parts of your village might be at odds with your goals (either because they do not support them or because they introduce other dimensions you need to think about in the process, like caregiving), our villages can still offer gifts.
Let me offer a brief, one-paragraph rant: we are at a time when we talk a lot about community but we are also increasingly conditioned to expect none of the frictions, complications, and intricacies that are inherently part of it. This makes us fall into a mental trap of thinking that our village needs to be there for us, perfectly aligned all the time, and with no tension, disagreement, or hardship. But life is different: we grow apart and we reconnect, we face grief and we face joy, we have hard conversations and we learn what works and what does not. Here I am talking mainly about our core village, the people who know us best throughout our lives, or at different points in it. But this is true for less intimate relationships, including networking. People we meet in professional settings may well become life-long friends (I know that is true for me), but if we think of networking and professional settings only as a one-off type of interaction, we are missing out on those possibilities, too. [End of the rant, thank you for reading].
So today I pose this question to make sure that we connect with the gold in between those deep layers of messy humanity that connects us with our loved ones across environments. What are those gifts that come to your mind when you think about your village? How do they inform the way you think about your life, and what you want for yourself next?
Next week, I will take us from this reflection into how we build with it. What ideas or insights did this reflection or today’s episode of Lucky to Be Here spark for you? Share with us! I love continuing the conversation so do not hesitate to reply back.
See you next week,
