(Written version)
In honor of Halloween tomorrow, it is time to grab your costume! I don’t mean your literal costume, though. This month we explored fears: what they are, what is hiding behind them, where we might find some opportunities to tap into our power and mitigate their volume, and the trade-offs we inevitably face at each step. Sitting down with these questions is hard work, and often we struggle with getting to this point for a long time before we give ourselves permission to even ask the questions.
But if there is one message I want you to take from this whole month of explorations, it is this: Underneath the costume, it is you who gets to be the hero that faces the fears. You don’t need to run towards the fear with no preparation, though. You pick your costume and your tools, and you decide when you are ready to stop feeling stuck and frozen by the fear itself. That is plenty to get going.
Some of the things we explored this month, like understanding what is behind the fear and exploring space for decision-making, help us feel more compassionate towards ourselves and gain more confidence on what we can do. Because we know ourselves, now better than before. Last week we talked about trade-offs and the Certainty of Missing Out. There is another part to it: knowing this to be true, uncertainty is inevitable. If that is true, then we cannot get rid of it, but we can learn to feel more comfortable with going through it.
One of the things I love most about being an improviser is that it has helped me feel more comfortable with uncertainty and change. Do I live for it? Not really, I am not an adrenaline fan that way. But improv has helped me step into stages without thinking much, going into scary situations knowing I could trust myself, and helped me tap into the gift of good and bad situations alike. I say this after a decade of practicing it, but the truth is that I almost passed out right before going on stage for my first showcase. I will never forget that feeling.
The good news is that you do not have to be an improviser to get more comfortable with facing uncertainty. But I wanted to share something from a book I have been reading, Everything is an Offer (non-affiliate link). In the book, one of the key insights is this mantra:
Let go. Notice more. Use everything.
I want to invite you in this last exploration of fears (for this month) to take that mantra with you when thinking about the fears we unpacked, and those you may find:
Let go… of the expectation that the fear will go away.
Notice more… what messages it has to offer you about what is driving (or stopping) you.
Use everything… from the awareness of the fear to the questioning of the story it narrates, and the exploration of the trade-offs that emerge.
You may be wearing a costume for Halloween. But you get to be your own hero no matter what. I’m here to support you through it, and I look forward to hearing what these reflections sparked for you, so make sure to reply back.
Happy Halloween, and see you next week for a new month of reflections!
