Changes, Pivots & Routines
This month, we are talking changes and pivots. But we all know that these do not have a month or even a time of the year. They are always happening, whether we like it or not.
I am all about them. My life and career until now has been nothing but a string of massive swings, unexpected turns, and a few decisions that have left many colleagues dumbfounded (“What do you mean you are cancelling a fly out for an academic role?” and “How can you quit your well-paying, prestigious job to build a new business?”, to name a few). Sure, they have all worked out one way or another. But if I am honest with you, and with myself, so much of them has been less about the specific move and so much more about the emotional weight behind them.
That is especially true when it comes to decisions that are also deeply intertwined with personal factors (which, if you ask me, are all our professional decisions… but that is a different story). When it comes to career development as an international student and professional, this is all the more intense. Any and all decisions are also related to what doors remain open, which ones close, and whether you have to pack up your stuff and start all over (not surprisingly, I also have opinions on that, but again, different newsletter, and if you DEFINITELY want to hear about this, reply back so I make sure I circle back soon).
I digressed… but not entirely. Turns out that changes and pivots might be thought of as the outcome, the choice you need to make, or just made. But the emotional experiences of the anticipation, the fear and doubts of the decision-making, and even the sudden stop that comes with the actual choosing, all take up so much space compared to the choices themselves. The floor shifts and we need to make sense of it as we go.
This is why I believe that routines are fundamental for us, especially during these times.
By that, I do not mean the very rigid, prescriptive approach to routines. “Wake up at 6. Wash your face and go for a walk at 6:30. Eat breakfast at 8.” Routines can take many forms, and some sneak up on us. You might not notice that you tend to prepare your coffee in a specific way every morning around the same time. Or that you stack your commute with listening to the one podcast you enjoy every Tuesday morning, or take time every Thursday to read this newsletter (and if you do, please let me know, and THANK YOU!).
Routines can bring comfort in the midst of unknowns. They do not need to be tools for self-judgment or punishment. You might skip a morning walk on a day that there is a lot going on. But knowing that the morning walk routine is there for you to lean on when your mind is racing can bring you a sense of calm and reassurance.
What is one routine that brings you comfort?
For me, it has been meditating at the beginning of the day. My Insight timer app says I am 580 days in on this routine, and it helps me cut through the tirade of thoughts and ideas I wake up with. Going out for a walk is a close second. It opens up space to slow down when I feel things piling up.
But here is the catch: if we weaponize our routines to criticize ourselves, then they defeat the whole purpose of comforting us. You know what I mean right here. It is when you keep beating yourself up for not doing it like others do, or not being great at it. I suck at focusing on my breath during meditations sometimes. There was a time (or a few) when I straight up fell asleep again while meditating. But I showed up, and that is what I (and Insight timer) count.
I leave you with this today: what brings you comfort in times of changes and pivots? When everything is always changing, some things still remain true to you. That is always a good place to start.
See you at our next Community Coffee Hour!
