(Written version)
This is our last Brewing on this month’s topic, Shifting from Here to Next, and I want to use this week’s discussion to focus on a key part of the work that goes into taking steps towards our goals: learning along the way.
Throughout this month, we have been discussing many layers of what goes into us actively working on becoming the versions of ourselves that get to our next desired stage. From identifying barriers to tackling our fears and actively making moves through small steps that we can learn from. In fact, we zoomed into the fear of failure as one powerful deterrent in our way, and I mentioned the three As approach: Acknowledge. Accept. Act. What follows after that?
Let’s imagine that you acknowledged that you are scared of putting yourself out there, and that through that awareness, you were able to accept that you are scared and yet you also want to put yourself out there because you have been working hard and it is important that people see what you have done to achieve your desired goal. You accept that it will feel uncomfortable, but you feel ready to take care of yourself through the experience. So then you act: you circulate the paper, you send your job application, you connect and ask for an informational interview to that potential hiring manager. Then what?
You learn! You take each of these as one more iteration or data point in the research project of your career development. Did you circulate the paper and get great feedback? Excellent, keep going! Did you get not-so-great feedback? Take a minute to let yourself feel the feelings that will come up. Then use what is constructive about the feedback to improve your paper. Did you send out the job application and move forward? Congratulations! Did you send it and get a rejection? That sucks, I’m sorry. Take a minute to tend to yourself (because rejections suck no matter what!) and then reassess: Was this the type of job or organization I am really interested in? What can I adjust in my strategy for next time? Did you send out the request for an informational interview and got a reply to meet? Yes, that’s exciting! What do you want to learn about this person, their role, or their organization? What do you want them to learn about you? Did they not reply back at all? Ghosting sucks, I know. It will happen sometimes. But who else can be a great person to connect with in this space? What is another way you can connect with other professionals?
I know, I threw a lot out there just now. But here is the key takeaway: Use the responses and reactions as sources of information, whether it means receiving validation or welcoming redirection. Let yourself feel whatever emotions come your way at that moment, then hug yourself tight and incorporate the information to keep going. You may see the pattern here… Acknowledge. Accept. Act… and then rinse and repeat. This is true no matter what, whether things are going great or bad.
At the end of the day, all our experiences can teach us something that we can take with us, integrate, and implement into our next moves. When you do that, you find yourself already shifting from here to next simply because you are not frozen where you are at. Remember what I said a few weeks ago: we build confidence by doing. And every time we do, we also gain one story or two… and you know how much I love stories. So, tell me: what is the latest lesson you have learned? What experience will you tackle next?
Next month, we will focus on some of the stories that get in our way through our “shoulds.”
That is all for today! As a reminder, I am opening the doors of AGV Lab for its founding members cohort in only a few days, on June 1. This is a space that makes coaching accessible and affordable at critical times in our careers, while building community, because of how fundamental connection and mutual support are in these processes of career exploration and development. If you have not already, you can enroll to join as a founding member using the link that I share with you below. For the next couple of weeks only, subscribers to the Brewing and Community Coffee Hours get a 25% discount for the next year, so make sure to use the code I include below.
See you next week at our next Community Coffee Hour!
